It's just a privilege to watch your mind at work.
I don't think I'll be able to stop thinking about it.
Since it's not bee season, you can have my epinephrine.
Lois Lane is falling, accelerating at an initial rate of 32 feet per second per second. Superman swoops down to save her by reaching out two arms of steel. Miss Lane, who is now traveling at approximately 120 miles an hour, hits them and is immediately sliced into three equal pieces.
I'm just inferring this is a couch because the evidence suggests the coffee table is having a tiny garage sale.
Sheldon, if you were a robot, and I knew and you didn't...
If you're compiling a mix CD for a double suicide. Oh, I hope that scratching post is for you.
No. The dark crescent-shaped patterns under your arms conceal it nicely.
How's this? "Pleased to meet you, Dr. Gablehauser. "How fortunate for you that the university's "chosen to hire you, despite the fact "that you've done no original research in 25 years, "and instead have written a series of popular books "that reduce the great concepts of science "to a series of anecdotes, "each one dumbed down to accommodate the duration "of an average bowel movement.
Yeah, my parents felt that naming me Leonard and putting me in Advanced Placement classes wasn't getting me beaten up enough.
Sure, cut the foreigner in half. There's a billion more where he came from.
Leonard, may I present, live from New Delhi, Dr. and Mrs. V. M. Koothrappali.
Well, I'm sorry, too, but there's just no room for you in my wallet.
I've got some feelers out. In the meantime, listen to this.
That woman looks exactly like the pictures of Princess Panchali in the book. How often does one see a beloved fictional character come to life?
Not to mention you'd have to power down on saturdays.
Well, there's always the possibility that a trash can spontaneously formed around the letter but Occam's rasor would suggest that someone threw it out.
Technically, yes. But, if you'll notice... It's reversible!
Just the latest copy of Applied Particle Physics quarterly.
Oh, you know, that is so weird that yours came and mine didn't.
Do you think Penny will come here and take care of us?
- Now?! - No, after my tongue has swollen to the size of a brisket!
What else? Sell it on eBay as "slightly used."
Good idea, sit with her. Hold her, comfort her. And if the moment feels right, see if you can cop a feel.
Notify the editors of the Oxford English Dictionary. The word "plenty" has been redefined to mean "two."
Oh, please. The only way she could make a contribution to science would be if they resumed sending chimps into space.
I think tonight was a very good start.
I'm sorry, I am not going back to the Renaissance fair.
You were very clear. As was everyone else at the table.
They gave him an assistant? If I want a new pen, I have to go to the bank with wire cutters.
Maybe when I publish it, I'll include an inhaler.
I don't know. It just died. I'm getting a bunch of static.
Sadly, Mrs. Giselle Wolowitz is sensitive to chlorine. Lucky for her I like my fashion models pruny and bug-eyed.
The big deal is that nobody touches food on my plate.
On a dusty highway just outside Bakersfield. Where do you think? On Mars!
How nice. Maybe they can carpool when they visit you in federal prison.
What do you think I did? I discreetly slipped off the other earring, put it in my pocket and then got the hell out of there!
The blunt instrument that will be the focus of my murder trial?
Would it work if I just punched you in the face?
Answering the question once and for all why Wolowitz bailed out of medical school.
My aunt Marion gave them to me for my 12th birthday.
You were right. Your larynx is terribly inflamed. I've never seen anything like it.
"Dave." Sounds like Leonard's got a new BFF.
If you don't like this stuff, let's go next door and build her a bear.
- Maybe I heard you wrong. A lot of words sound like "yoga."
Why don't you just lie down on the floor and swim there?
I hope I'm a waitress at the Cheesecake Factory for my whole life.
When I didn't pay my bill, the Department of Water and Power thought I would enjoy the ambience.
There's no hurry. Tell them more about their secret love for each other.
Kind of makes you feel more alive, doesn't it?
Assuming I can keep up this pace, three hours, 11 minutes. Plus however long it takes to conclude this fairly pointless conversation.
Excuse me, but what about me? Why don't I get a shot?
So? Do cocaine smugglers write "cocaine" on the box?
Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to help.
You know this can go on all night. Why don't you just come with us?
Provided he has already read and is familiar with the reestablishment of the DC multiverse.
You think "coffee," means coffee. That is so sweet.
You don't really believe in that superstition, do you?
Okay, here's an idea. What if I change my name and go live with my cousin and her husband, Avi, in Israel?
Hardly a day goes by when I don't think about it.
Sure, maybe a tableau of me trying to pummel you to death.
Terrific, it's just that... I don't think Penny wants me to go.
What did you mean when you said you were going to miss me?
Ooh, big talk from a man who was once treed by a chicken.
No, I mean, we can always go back to being friends.
It's an iCal download. She can put it right in her phone.
You know, I've always wanted to go to a Goth nightclub.
No, I'm behind on my Wiki-reading. I'm kind of on a John Grisham kick right now.
- Chocolate? - No, I don't want any chocolate!
Oh, you know, Goth stuff. Goth magazines, Goth music.
Obviously, waitressing at The Cheese Cake Factory is a complex socio-economic activity that requires a great deal of analysis and planning.
When I have enough to destroy all the human toast on the Battlestar known as Galactica.
Seems like an awful lot of trouble to go through for intercourse.
But if she dumps you, she'll have a new boyfriend by tomorrow morning and you'll have a new girlfriend when you figure out how to build one.
Not a great movie, but look at that beautiful desert.
Right. That was so good! Sweety and meaty at the same time.
I'm sorry, fiddling with yourself in the bathtub is a real class act.
No, I mean Princess Leia. Of course I mean Bernadette. She's a wonderful girl and she really likes you.
Oh, sure. And while we're at it, why don't we put our hands behind our backs, have an old-fashioned eating contest?
Leonard's work is nearly as amazing as third graders growing lima beans in wet paper towels.
Okay, I got a bone to pick with you.
Raj, you should've seen Leonard's experiment. The interference pattern was so cool when the electron beam was on.
I was going to ask Leonard to do it, but he seemed a bit emotionally unstable and you don't want someone like that operating heavy machinery.
Oh, we don't need to talk about that anymore. Leonard covered it pretty well in the car.
Don't you think looking for a new city to live in is a bit of an overreaction?
I understand your point, but given a choice, Jews always go with Chinese food.
Well, I always figured it was to study us, discover our weaknesses, and report back to your alien overlords.
Why don't you keep that stuff in the bathroom?
Oh, no, no, I said I'm inviting you to come with me to Stan Lee's house.
There a new girlfriend in there? 'Cause you might need one.
Oh, I'm so glad you asked it like that. You.
Can we please talk about something else? Maybe something vaguely related to life as we know it on this planet?
Excuse me, I'm thirsty, so I'm going to go to the refrigerator and get myself a refreshing beverage.
I read a study online that walking after a meal not only aids in digestion, but increases serotonin, and you know me, if there's one thing I like more than a refreshing beverage, it's serotonin. Bye-bye.
So what, you're just gonna walk up and down the stairs?
That's very thoughtful, but I think I'll finish my coffee first.
In 1917, when Albert Einstein established the theoretic foundation for the laser in his paper <i>"Zur Quantentheorie der</i> <i>Strahlung,"</i> his fondest hope was that the resultant device be bitchin'.
A lot of people are working on that research. So what is all this?
It was the kind of thing that makes it kind of hard to face her now.
All right, all right. He can buy his own desk.
I just have a question. Does Bernadette ever talk about me?